saving my abracadabra for later

i'm at a moment.
i can't decide if it's good or bad. you know when you wish for something and then, when finally it happens you realize that actually it's not really what you wanted? that happened to me. now i'm at a moment.

about one month ago i would have done anything to have snapped my fingers and be transported to another city, nestled and sorted. that didn't happen. so i changed my glasses and put a pair on with rosier lenses. budapest, you ain't so bad after all!

then. the results of our efforts (mine and david's) to move away from hungary finally came to fruition. he got a job in london. good pay, GREAT city, new opportunities... he took it. within days he was packed and i was standing there at the bus stop at keleti train station at 4 in the morning saying good-bye. when i said i wanted to leave budapest, i didn't mean that i wanted to stay in budapest, alone without my dear and try to swing flying solo in this place on my own.

hello, universe!

anyways, i will join david in london. i will box my things up and move them out of my flat here. i will take down my curtains and my photographs, relocate for my job and set up life down the street from the queen (wishful thinking). apart from standing in too-long queues at the embassy, jumping at every call on my mobile that my visa has arrived, things are cool.

back to video skype calls, not awesome but sometimes, you just gotta deal.


lessons learned: without sounding cliché... careful what you wish for? general wishes are always better than personal ones, because how can we know what we really want. heck, i don't even know what to make for dinner half the time until i'm half-way through cooking it.


Caution: Steps

Work on good prose has three steps: a musical stage when it is composed, an architectural one when it is built, and a textile one when it is woven.

Walter Benjamin. "One-Way Street." London: Verso ,1997.